I can do doula

First thing I helped this family with was switching to a care provider in the area.  They were moving from out of state towards the end of the pregnancy.  I highly recommended the doctor I assumed would suit them best out of a long list of providers.  They chose him and to my relief, were greatly satisfied!

When I was asked to attend the birth, it was going to be a good experience to witness another birth.  I planned on being a tad more involved than just watching in the corner, but mostly I was going to watch from afar and just see it happen.  I mean, I'm a student doula, but what really can I help with?  My diva uterus only does the routine filling and emptying.  So I set my goal to serve and to watch.

Well, VERY LITTLE TINY did I know what it is to SERVE and to WATCH God deliver a baby to this world.  I am in awe that our GREAT CREATOR came to us in this way, struggling out of the pure womb.  So let me tell you all about my wonderful role as SERVANT and WATCHGIRL.

I started out at the home writing down the time at each contraction, the severity, and any other notable thing.  I recognized the elation in this stage. 

Mom and Dad were tuned in to one another (more Mom to Dad, but Dad was summoned in).  Mom was determined, confident, at peace, and totally in the bring-it-on phase to get her baby.  Contractions shorted and Mom drew inward, but not totally.  She was definitely focused now on one thing only. 

As contractions shortened to 3 and 4 minutes apart, we all started moving towards probably going to the hospital.  I started really getting the adrenaline here. 

At the hospital, I communicated to the staff about Mom's non-wishes for pain medication and anybody's mention of them.  They received me and asked me some questions. 

After quite awhile at the hospital, they got around to checking her cervix and she had not dilated from this afternoon at the doctor's office.  I have been reading about women feeling discouraged in childbirth.  Discouragement is not welcome in labor and here are its gangmembers who are dispursed from the experience: anxiety, despair, fear, feelings of skipping to the end, ineffectiveness.

My favorite lesson about Mom was that she was 100% coachable.  She wanted only positivity and would accept nothing else.  If she uttered "no," we indignantly responded, "yes!"  If she cried, "I can't," we resounded, "YOU CAN!"  And she listened.  She was at peace with her labor.  Each contraction took all the energy of Mom and Dad.  They fully engaged every time.  I reminded her that her contractions were opening up her cervix.  She climbed to a 7.  Her pressure was so unbearable, yet she bore it. Each contraction usurped everything from her body and she gave it.  She relaxed her face and could do one contraction at a time.  Never burden these warriors with thoughts about one hour from now and thirty minutes from now.  She could do one single contraction in that moment and that is all she could do.  That's all she needs to do!  After seven hours, she had accomplished approximately 210 contractions.  In that time, Dad and Mom combined got no more than 5-10 minutes of sleep.  And do you even call it sleep?

The final hour or two, which may I remind you, nobody even has a clue, especially Mom, about this actually being the LAST hour or two.  Mom starts to worry if this will go on forever.  We encourage each other with our hope.  None of us knows, we just hope and instill that in Mom.  She reaches a new climax of exhaustion every minute.  Dad was fascinating.  I could not believe the energy he donated for his family.  He was hoping, waiting, gentle, and so strong with her. 
It was not six AM yet when the baby came.  Even though I was reminding her the baby was coming, I was just baffled when this little baby came out onto the bed and lay there.  Wow. 
Here are some interventions that worked for this mom:
pressure on back with contractions
feet massage

when she almost couldn't gather herself back together, mint tea (I knew she loved mint and this baby loved mint in utero). this was my best shot at aromatherapy

cameragirl

words of encouragement